Ready or Not: He Is a Teenager

My son turns 13 today.

He is officially known as a teenager by the world.
In our family, we do not use that term.

It is either you are a child or an adult.

You may ask why? The word teenager never existed until the 1920s. There are many versions of when and how the word came about.

When most family talked about the teen years, they talked about trouble, selfish, rebellious, all things negative. Could it be that we don't have to attach those words to our 13-19 year olds? When my daughter turns 13, we adopted the Jewish tradition of Bat Mitzvah (our own version) and had a ceremony with friends and family to celebrate her passage into adulthood. She was given a choice, that is, would you like us to treat you as an adult or a child? She chose adulthood, which meant, she will be responsible for the choices she made, her spiritual beliefs and all moral obligations.

We brought her through some lessons before the ceremony to ensure that she has the tools to lead herself successfully.
My husband and I are still her life coaches now and she has given us permission to speak and give her directions.
Since we have her permission, when correction comes there were no room for 'battles'.

Robert Lewis wrote a book called Raising a Modern-Day Knight.
I agree with the three points that he drew out about raising a boy to be a man. The three critical points are: 1. We have to give a clear definition of manhood to our boys. 2. We need to give them specific training to bring them into manhood.
3.

There should be a ceremony to commemorate his manhood.
So, there is no hit and miss for them.

The Jewish tradition of Bar Mitzvah is a great tradition to follow.
We are non-Jewish but have found great value in that tradition. Here the boys go through trainings, read the Torah, follow the Law, and are made aware of their own moral responsibilities.
These are practices that do not give a child excuses but to lead a responsible lifestyle.
We want to raise young adults that are prepared for the future.
Things that will hinder their growth into adulthood: 1.

Inability to make decisions independently.
2.

Too much help from parents for every small thing. 3. Too many activities to fill their days.

No time to sit and ponder and relax.
4.

Too many sports or musical instruments they are involved in.

Ever heard of Jack of all trades master of none? 5.
Constantly wanting to make them happy and satisfied.

Our children are reminded that, happiness does not come from someone else.

"You determine your own happiness.
" Ever wonder why 'happy pills' are being prescribed to children and teens? 6.

Not letting them grow up.
7. Unrealistic plan will break them.
There are children today, who wants a good life but unwilling to put in the work.

My children attend public school and are not taught skills to succeed.
I see a generation of students who are allowed to easily get the passing grades without being educated or taught skills of life.
We work hard to 'school' them each day after they come home from school.

Do you remember the childhood game of hide and seek? "Ready or not, here I come".
We have chosen not to let our son go through the ceremony of being a man when he is thirteen because he is not ready. We are taking this whole year to prepare him.

He will be mentored by my husband and one other man who has integrity and whom we would like our son to model. How are you preparing your sons and daughters into adulthood? Do you think they will just get it? It will happen when the time comes? We live in a generation where there is a lack of mentorship for our young people. Years ago, young men learnt skills from their dad either in the farm or in their workshop. What are we to do about the lack of mentorship? I am inviting you to take action today by getting our Free Report. I highly recommend you take advantage of that.
We would also love to hear from you.